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Friday, March 21, 2014

The Humble Powder Monkey

   The sculptors at Games Workshop/Citadel Miniatures produced, once up on a time, a small little figure of a monkey with a powder barrel. This was intended, as far as I can tell, as just a little piece of scenic fun. However, what if the powder monkey had a purpose in the game? I propose three options.

Option 1: Extra Crewman (4 pts)

   Because it sucks when you lose the crew and you can't shoot your Great Cannon any longer, let's give them a  bit more staying power. The powder monkey acts in all respects like a regular Human crewman for a gunpowder weapon. Simple. I actually use my powder monkey this way because I lost a crew figure.

Option 2: Safety Monkey (4 pts)

   Because it sucks when your Great Cannon blows up, we have Safety Monkey. The monkey has adulterated the gunpowder for your war machine. Now, if a Misfire result is an explosion, roll a die. On a 4+, the powder was no good instead, and the gun is out of action this turn and the next as the crew draws the ball, kicks the monkey, reloads, etc.

Option 3: Monkeying with the Powder (no points)

   Because it sucks when your powder is serpentine and you have a monkey mixing it up for you, we have Monkeying with the Powder. Monkeys really shouldn't be relied upon to mix gunpowder in a consistent or safe manner. Therefore, every time you fire the weapon to which the monkey is attached, you roll a die. 
  1. Thanks to poorly mixed powder, the weapon fails to fire. Reload and fire again, losing this turn.
  2. The weapon performs as stated in the rules.
  3. The weapon performs as stated in the rules.
  4. The weapon performs as stated in the rules.
  5. The weapon performs as stated in the rules.
  6. Extra strong powder, causing the weapon to act erratically. The effect depends on the particular weapon, but is as follows:
  • Cannons and Great Cannons: Add 4" to the 'bounce' roll.
  • Mortars: The fragments hit at +1 S (S4).
  • HellblasterVolley Guns: Extend both short and long range by 3, i.e. short is now 0-15, long is now 15-27.
  • Hellstorm Rockets: If Artillery die was not a hit, deviate twice, re-rolling Misfire results.
   So, there you have it. These rules, of course, are in no way endorsed or approved by Games Workshop, and are certainly not 'tournament' legal. They are just a bit of fun, the sort that should be agreed upon amongst players prior to a 'friendly' game, similar to the themed armies presented in the army book.


ColKillgore said...

Those are some fun house rules.


Eli Arndt said...

It all comes down to how "Orky" you want them. Most reasonable is Extra Crew. The task of carrying and fetching is certainly in a monkey's range. Safety Monkey and Monkeying Around get into the realm of some of the more entertaining rules Warhammer is famous for.