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Thursday, April 1, 2010

Wal-Hammer Discount Battles, 94th ed.

Gothic Horror in Discount Retail

In a grim world dripping with skulls, yellow smiley faces and spikey bitz, hordes of grossly distorted people struggle with massively oversized weapons in order to dominate the Express Lane.

-Actual Game Play Dialogue -
"I've got eleven items in my Basket of Sorrow, cutting to the front of the line in the '10 or Less' lane - but my eleventh item is Emperor Pillsbury's Crown of Extra Golden Flaky Awesomeness, so I can get away with it. Cower before me and wait in the queue like all the regular people."

"Ah, but in the new Weekly Codex Circular, they got rid of the Emperor's Crown and replaced it with the Too-Tight Spandex of Garish Blindey-ness. MY army (which was totally re-vamped in the WCC) includes two units of Greenback-bearing Migrant Workers, which cost only 2 points each but have M4 (6 when running from ICE Agents), WS8, BS100%, S8, T7, W4, A3, and Ld2. They should easily destroy your unit of Imperial Mega Super Wonderknights, with their measly 1+ Ward save. They are led by ACLU the Mighty, with the ACORN of Mischief. Your puny pre-painted collectible army is doomed! DOOMED!"
Wal-Hammer Fantasy Discount Battle Superstore

Coming in April 2010 to everywhere you look, next to the Starbuck's that is already there.

Games Bilkshop
11.99 Metal Infantry Mini Street
Gimme-Your-Dough, Willingly, YUK

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